Home // 2015 // January

She Became

“If you are loved by someone, you are never rejected, so decide what to be, and go be it.” – Avett Brothers

I belong to a support group for women coping with the loss of their mothers.  Although we meet in person, we occasionally email each other about interesting things we see.  One member circulated this bumper sticker she saw on a parked car, and it generated a lot of discussion among the group members:


For over a year, I have been trying to find meaning in a number of things that have happened. Sometimes I worry that I have tried too hard to find meaning in these things. Maybe there is no meaning – they were just a bunch of random things that made for a terrible eighteen months. Then I realize that there really is no way to overstate them: the events had real meaning to me and I ignore them at peril to my own growth as a person.

So, how can I properly grow from these things? How can “I become?”

I am not sure I know the answer to that question, but I do know that I am making changes in my life that I would have been afraid to make before. Taking risks has always been hard for me: I have always played it safe, and done what I think others expected me to do. I have noticed that a lot of people have started to steer away from me now, because I am not “who they thought I was.” The fact is, however, that I am really still the same person. My dreams and desires are now simply closer to the surface, and I may be less willing to mince words or waste time. It has truly been eye-opening to live this way. I could not imagine going back to the way things were before.

Did I become, then, or have I always been?